怕错 - 沈帼英

和几个印尼同事闲聊，谈起当地人的工作方式，不约而同地把一些现象归咎于害怕犯错的心理上。 开会时只点头不发言，因为怕讲错话。像机器人 按照工作手册的每一字每一句做事，凡手册上没提到的都不敢做，也因为怕错。

　　越是怕错，越容易出错。 一味死背书按照指示行动，不用逻辑思考，遇上状况时肯定不能灵活应变。 担心犯错而不开口发问，只会不知错，一直错下去。

　　朋友发现衣服有褪色痕迹，想了解问题出在哪里。负责洗衣的阿姨却立刻架起防卫心理，直呼自己没犯错，根本不愿意参与讨论。朋友完全没有责怪之意，却找不出原因，好气又好笑。

　　雅加达市政府为了舒缓繁忙时间的交通，在某个时段关闭一些道路。多数德士司机宁可全天都避开那些路绕道而行，也不花两分种仔细看看显示牌上注明的关闭时段。也是怕错的心理在作祟。

　 　怕错，是一种文化现象。铸成的因素，离不开教育制度和成长环境对错误的重视。大家都说从错误学习，但更多时候老师、长辈或雇主却习惯把焦点放在“错误” 多过“学习”上。每次犯错后得到的惩罚，像紧箍咒一样捆绑着人们的脑袋。生活的记忆里填满了错误的负担和恐惧。谁还敢客观思考？更别说think out of the box。

　　有一个专门提供职员培训的印尼组织，提倡以特长为本的思考模式（Asset-Based Thinking），希望纠正长久以来印尼教育方式形成的思考习惯。他们鼓励学员先从自己的优点和强项出发，不要一开始便谈问题和错误。搬开了怕错的心理 障碍，才能好好培养个人的素质与才能。

　　怕错当然不只是印尼人仅有的习惯。我们也是在紧箍咒下长大的一群，也还在学习不怕错。

《舞之思忖（八） — 神往之心》Pursuit of Passion

好精彩、好动人、好感人、好有美感的一场舞蹈表演啊！要不是我付出了四个下午的时间去参加舞蹈负责老师的训练课程，那我不可能会认识林美琴老师，也不可能会认识福建会馆属下的舞蹈团，也不可能会有机会，有念头，有兴趣去观赏这一场舞蹈的盛宴。

几年前，我也曾观赏过梁笑英老师的麟麒舞蹈团的两场表演，也曾观赏过某个中国舞蹈团的表演。那时，我就对舞蹈这么美丽的艺术产生了浓厚的兴趣。可是现在，我决定让舞蹈成为我平淡无奇的生说中的主要调味品。接下来的这一年，我还会继续去观赏多几场舞蹈演出。

当每个星期六的素食烹饪班结束后，我也想去联络所报名参加成人的舞蹈班。我已经圆了我学钢琴的梦想，虽然我自己购买的那架钢琴现在正寂寞孤单地摆在家里的某个角落。不过，我对音乐的热爱与热忱还是不减当年，只是我现在想尝试别的艺术形式。

如果生命没意外的话，我应该还有50年的路要走。而在这漫长的人生道路上，我需要各种艺术（文学、音乐、舞蹈、美术）的陪伴与陶冶，才能够走过这充满压力与苦闷的人生，因为我太贪心了，我的欲望太强烈了，就连神也满足不了我所有心灵上的渴望。

Foundation Of The Heart

The great cathedrals of Europe are not only breathtaking but intriguing in their architecture. Because their massive ceilings were too heavy for the walls to support, flying buttresses, or external extensions, were built to support the expansive roofs.

Although we are “the temple of the living God” (2 Cor. 6:16), I wonder if we are not more like these cathedrals, with buttresses of external influences holding us up while we remain weak at the core. Pastors, friends, rules, books, and small groups are helpful to support and bolster our faith. But if we depend too heavily on them, they can actually distract us from developing a healthy heart for God.

Our heart is the place where God meets and relates to us personally. It’s where He allows us to respond to His correction. Spending time in His Word and in prayer opens the door for Him to interact with us at the deepest levels of our need and gives Him opportunities to comfort and convict. As we open our hearts to Him, He fans the flame of an intimate, life-changing relationship.

Authentic Christianity is the inside-out expression of this dynamic relationship with Jesus that provides the strength to live for His glory—regardless of what is happening on the outside! — Joe Stowell

When you open your heart to the Savior, He opens your mind to His Word.

An Audience Of One

When I worked as a young journalist for Campus Life magazine, my assistant kept a plaque on her desk with this two-line poem: Only one life, ’twill soon be past / Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Reading that plaque brought me up short every time. Although I believed its truth, how could I put it into practice? How should my faith in the invisible world affect my day-to-day life in the visible world?

According to Jesus, it’s what God thinks of us that matters, not what others think. Jesus instructed us to pray in a closed room, where no one could see us, rather than in a public place where we might get credit for being spiritual (Matt. 6:6). In other words, live for God and not others.

Do we clamor for attention and achievement? Jesus invites us to let go of that competitive struggle, to trust that God’s opinion of us is the only one that ultimately counts.

How would our lives differ if we truly played to an audience of One? Certainly our sense of ego and rivalry would fade, because we would no longer need to worry about proving ourselves to others. We could concentrate instead on pleasing God by living in a way that would attract people to Jesus. — Philip Yancey

感动我心，让我整颗心都醉了的歌手

在黄建成的音乐会上，又再次听到陈绮贞的《旅行的意义》，让我又怀念起她。我已经好久没听她的歌了，只因这个乐坛不断有新歌手和新歌曲的出现，所以我的脑海中不断有新歌重叠旧歌的回忆。不过，当我又再次重听她的歌时，内心的感动与对生命的感动还是那么地深。陈绮贞，你不愧是哲学系的毕业生，你写的歌竟然能深深地感动每一个在世上漂泊的灵魂。

陈绮贞的每一张专辑都值得珍藏，每一首歌都值得闭上眼静静聆听与体会，睁开眼细读歌词中的每一个字，并反思自己的生命。

当你遇到挫折，对自己失去信心，再也飞不起来时，请你去聆听她的《失败者的飞翔》与《AFTER 17》。当你想一个人静一静时，请你去聆听《太多》和《静静的生活》。当你觉得生活过得很累时，请你去聆听《80%完美的日子》。

其实，她还有好多好多首我好喜欢的歌曲。因为太多了，无法一一介绍。不过，我最喜欢的还是她的《旅行的意义》，因为我也有一颗自由奔放、不想被束缚，但还是得努力学习安定下来的灵魂，所以听了这首歌后，心中的震撼久久无法平息。哦，还有另一首我很喜欢的歌是《雨天的尾巴》，因为我在写了《雨天》这首诗后，她竟然也把雨天拟人化，写出了这首歌.............

炎热的夏日，一股沁人心脾的清泉

人与人之间的缘分是非常奇妙的，人与一位歌手、一首歌之间的缘分何尝不是。我真的是在无意中、机缘巧合之下认识黄建为这名歌手的。他真的不是一名很有名的歌手，也不是一名有潜质大红大紫的艺人。不过他的歌就像午后的一阵凉风，吹得人们的心都渐渐沉睡了，像夏天里缓缓奔流的一股清泉，流过每一颗为生活忙碌、不知怎么慢下来的心。

他的歌带我离开快节奏的生活，回到能够感动人心的田野、大自然里去。那里才是人的本质生活，才是人心应该归依的地方。

Special dates of this generation, what they mean to her?

1/1/2001-She was still 24 years old this year. Had a stable job, comfortable salary, but was still searching for her other half. Her life was actually quite empty, disillusion, & purposeless as she still did not know god then.

2/2/2002-She was 25 years old then. Met with a really heart-breaking & unfortunate incident in life that led her to CSC to know more about God in July & really turn the life of an anti-christian 360 degrees & she slowly learn to be the salt & light of this world from then on. She is still feeling very lonely as close friends slowly "leave" her to form their own families.

3/3/2003-She had forgotten what happened this year. Struggling with faith & relationship issue in CSC & in work-place.

4/4/2004-She got to know someone through work. She learn how to blade & was mesmerized by the wrong person who will only be a friend forever. Nothing more, nothing less. Grandmother passed away 1 month after nephew was born. Feel that life is really a joke & something that you can't control.

5/5/2005-She changed work-place & working in the new environment allowed her to make new friends who become very good travel pals & colleagues. She felt really bless that she is able to know close friends from the previous & current work-place.

6/6/2006-She never expected to get attach before she turned 30 as she was already planning to buy her own house once she reach 35. It was a turbulent year as she juggled pressures from both CSC & CH & the struggles in her own heart. It was also a year when she nearly quit her job as her job was nearly driving her crazy.

7/7/2007-This was quite a peaceful year for her except for the change from CSC to CHC & the change in his job. God has finally bring them to a place where they can really serve in the marketplace & fulfill the destiny that god has for both of them.

8/8/2008-National Day Eve, Opening ceremony of China Olympics. A very auspicious day in the Chinese Calendar. She still has a very stable job & a more comfortable salary. Entering into the 3rd year of her courtship. Praying that god will lead them into the land of milk & honey. She is getting disheartened & really don't know how to continue to support him financially. 我现在的心已经变得好瘦好瘦，可是神啊，你连我这么小小的要求都不能满足吗？如果我能做得到，为什么他不能呢？祢到底要怎么考验我们呢？身为女人，难道我不能够这样要求吗？主啊，求你成全我们吧，让我们变得幸福吧。我好累，好累啊，好想放弃......

9/9/2009-This is the day she hope to get married, in a traditional church, in a beautiful white lacey dress, with hymns playing in the background, & with god's blessing for their marriage life. She pray that the prices of resale 4-room flat will fall below 250K too, so that they can have a home that she can design & decorate & call their own.

(It was a really moody day for her today because of the financial difficulties he is in right now. She really need someone of the same sex to share everything with, & coincidentally she met up with JX & pour out all her woes to JX & felt really glad that JX understood everything. Thank you, friend, & I'm glad that I have found another 性情中人like you。我禱告，我們都能尋得自己的幸福，我們都要努力尋找自己的幸福，我們都要過得幸福哦！)

沉浸在浪漫的童话故事中，无法自拔

好久没看台剧了。这次却在无意中无法自拔地迷上了这部台剧，竟然在一个星期中，追看完了26集。因为昨晚看到凌晨5点钟，现在还有点迷迷糊糊的，分不清现实与虚幻，也拒绝把自己从幻想的世界中抽离出来。我已经好久没这样了，以为自己已经不再年轻，不会再胡思乱想、幻想、着迷了。可是这部片却有着这样的魔力，使我又迷失了自己，只想逃进童话世界中，不想再面对真实的世界、友情、亲情、感情。

我喜欢这部剧集以一副名为《初夜》的画牵引出所有的人物与情节。我喜欢这部剧集中人与人之间所流露的爱情、友情与亲情。我喜欢这部剧集中的艺术氛围。我喜欢这部剧集中用这么简单的一个游戏“剪刀、石头、布”来刻画让人心动的友情与爱情，以及形容故事中的三个主角（一个就像一把利刃的剪刀、一个就像稳重、可靠的石头、一个就像可包容所有过犯的一块布）。我喜欢这部剧集的情节（各种奇妙的缘分的交接与碰撞）与演员（太可爱了）。

其实我自己的生命已经算蛮精彩了，也经历了一些好奇妙的缘分，而最重要的是我还有一颗火热与会跳跃的心和一个能让我幻想的世界。过了今天，我又要回到现实的世界中，去创造我自己精彩和与众不同的生命。

我是AB派的。。哈哈

AB型血特征：充满矛盾的自信家

多数人童年时与成年后性格很不一致。小时候特别认生，与人接触时，表面看似乎很安详，心里却十分害怕生人或大人。可是，到了青少年时期，会一改旧态，变得善与人相处，而且能圆满地处理各种关系。所以不少人专事调解工作，成名者尤多。
(Haha, I couldn't agree more. My social skills have improved tremendously over the years, & I'm no more the shy, quiet & timid gal anymore. I love people now, & I love to talk to strangers & interact with friends from overseas especially.)

然而，AB型人在心理上与人的距离感是始终不变的。即便是对亲近的人，也保持一定距离。这是AB型人感情淡薄的根源。尽管如此，AB型人仍属热心人，办事虽无O型人那么积极主动，但一般不会拒绝别人的请求。他们常常担任某些团体的联络人，为于已无利的事奔走忙碌。AB型人还有一个优点，那就是对人绝对公平，他们不会搞宗派，这点是有别于O型人的。不顺心时，特别会讲俏皮话。(Yes, I don't like cliques, because I had been left out of cliques & had been hurt before when I was young. I can be very close to a person, but there's no need to always stick to him/her while in a group. We can always go out on our own & interact with each other.)


AB型人中爱交际的人虽不少，但他们共同的特别是嫌恶世俗人情。AB型人对人有强烈的好恶感，特别厌恶伪善和自私的人。不过，他们不直接表在自己的这种感情，对自己厌恶的人也能笑脸相迎。可以说是AB型人的处世特技。AB型人不喜欢与人相争，遇事不爱出头，是天生的温和主义者。(Yes, I realize that the 2 kinds of person I hate the most now are those living behind a facade & those who are selfish idiots. So those people who are pretentious, who live their life behind a veil, who are selfish & cares only about themselves, please get out of my life so that I don't have to "wear" a smiling face before you. )

汉语文的奇妙与独特

以下两组中的两个句子都是用同样的汉字组成的。可是把它们重新编排后，所要表达的意思却是完全相反的。但愿我们生活的每一天，都能够被积极、美妙、悦耳的话语所环绕。

“这题你不是练好几遍，笨得哦！”(Didn't you practise this question for a few times already, so stupid......!")

“你不笨，是这题得练好几遍哦！”(You are not stupid, its because this question is difficult, you must practise for a few times......!")

“什么都不能跟人家比，
谁像你一样没有用啊！”(Everything also cannot compare with others, who in the world is so useless like you?????")

“没有谁能像你一样啊，
不用什么都跟人家比！”(Nobody is comparable to you, you are unique. You don't have to compare with others......")

FOP 2008

It was a really long & tiring journey to the Singapore Indoor Stadium because of the inaccessibility of that place. When we reach the stadium, it was nearly 8.00pm as we waited around 20 minutes for bus 11. How I wish the bus service in Singapore could be more "considerate". They could have increase the frequency of that service whenever there are events or concerts being held at the stadium.

The moment I entered the indoor stadium, I could only hear "noises". The sound system was not very good this year & the music was "deafening". I could not really worship in peace. This is the 2nd time I attended FOP & I do not know all the worship teams & have not heard Rev. Mark preach before. I really do not know what to expect.

As I have never heard of parachute band's songs before & the music was "piercing" to the ears, I could not really get into the mood for worshiping. However, the testimony shared by the lead singer was really touching & inspiring. Reuben Morgan is good, but we left early because we could not stand the "exploding" sound of the music. I have heard many of his songs before while worshiping in church but do not know the titles of the song.

What I enjoyed most during the FOP was the preaching by Rev. Mark Conner. I love his accent, the tone & sound of this voice, & the jokes that he made. He started off but telling a joke about the differences among christian. There are actually so many different denomination among the different churches. What I know is only the difference between presbyterian, methodist & charismatic churches in Singapore.

I love his sermon for tonight, that's why I decided to write it down in my blog. I feel that this sermon came at the right time for a certain brother of another church, & also for some members in the cell. The title of his sermon could be "Unity in the Church", "Unity among Christians" or "4 ingredients to build a healthy church". Below are the 4 points he preach on(with my own views added in):

1) Peace.

As a christian, there must be a relationship with god whereby there is presence of peace with him & not of struggle. Because of the presence of sin in many christians' life, one is always struggling with god & could not build a proper relationship with god.

As a christian, one must also have peace of god in one's heart. Because of the worrying & unforgiving nature of the human race, there is always anxiety, distress, uneasiness, & hatred in one's heart & mind. When one live according to his carnal nature, one will not have the peace of god in his heart.

As a christian, one must also have peace with one another, & that includes christians & non-christians. Sometimes, people have high expectation of christians, thinking that they are saints, they are perfect, & that they will not fall & sin. But don't be alarmingly surprise if you find christians sinning more than non-christians. This is the reason why we need god more in our life. When christians of high position fall & sin & stumble other christians around him, it is really sad. But no matter what, we must always depend on god & really build peace with one another. However, if you find the whole church sinning & there are really some serious problems with the church, then that is another totally different issue. I believe god will be able to lead one to another place with milk & honey.

2) Encouragement.

There is a saying that goes like this "Encouragment is oxygen to the soul". Deep down in every person's heart, there is always a need for peace & encouragement. When one grows up with no one to encourage him in whatever he does, his soul will slowly dries up & wither away. I understand this the most as I grew up with absence of encouragement from my parents. But it is a blessing that I have god & many close friends around me to encourage me in whatever I do. So when you feel like giving up, please lean on god & the friends around you.

3) Comfort.

As a christian, we must also be able to find comfort from god & the holy spirit and also from people around us. But in order to find comfort from these sources, we must first be able to share with god, & also with people around us.

Many christians find it easy to share with god & to derive comfort from the holy spirt, but are afraid to show their weaknesses to people & will always maintain a stronghold facade. However, when they do this, they will not be able to find comfort from people around them & thus will not be able to build a deep, meaningful & 2-way relationship.

Besides finding comfort, we must also be able to be a comfort to others. We can do this only when the holy spirit is living in us & thus we are able to empathise with others.

4) Fear of the Lord

Lastly, we must be reverent of god & be fully aware of his presence. Only when we feel god in our life, we can then really depend on him in whatever we do in our daily life.