A burdened heart 加一颗受伤的心

As I rise up to become a CGC,
& as I began to play a part in other believer's life,
I start to realise that not many people are as happy, as fortunate & as lucky as they seems.
I also start to question why, how they can live their life in long suffering, falling into deep deep valley & climbing out of it again.
I have never fall so hard before, & I don't want to fall so hard.
But I feel so saddened by their dramatic life & sometimes I do question how much can god help them.
But nevertheless, we must still believe that even if prayers are not answered, there is a purpose in every misfortune, & god has a different plan for everyone.
C'est La Vie.

为什么我突然很想哭，也觉得好脆弱？
我的整颗心好像被扭曲着，
快要窒息了。
那件事虽然是我的错，是我的健忘与好意造成的错，
不过你也不必这么斤斤计较，事事追究。
我真的很想报复，不再管你的孩子，
让他自生自灭。
我真的好想报复，因为我明年也许不在这里了。
你们的成绩与品格，都不关我的事了。

在农历新年将近的日子，
我一点也不开心，一点也不期待。
如果时间可以停留，
我好想停留在求学的日子。
虽然那时有点穷，虽然那时也有读书的压力，
但是我的心也不会这样一次又一次地被伤害与糟蹋。
我好难过，好难过，好难过。。。。。。