Passion? Innocence?

Dear god,
I'm feeling very very tired, not only physically, but I guess emotionally and mentally too........I feel that my heart is dying, its losing its passion, innocence, curiosity for many things in life........Is this your way of testing me, oh father, of trimming away my playful, and unstable character........Oh father, I really do not know what plans you have for my life........Nobody can give me any advice, only you can, god, coz no human being's intelligence can be compared with yours.....
Sometimes I feel so lonely in life, but at the same time, I'm slowly losing my passion for people, I jus do not feel like getting to know new people, or interacting with people..........I'm slowly losing the joy of being a teacher, interacting with students, as I slowly lose the passion for everything........I won't get depressed, but I won't feel joyful too.........oh father........Can you show me how to be a real christian..........?
If any christian happened to read my blog, can you pray with me too.....?.....Pray that I would find the real "me" while I'm turning 29 years old on 18 Sept. this year..........I feel very flattered when pple said I don't look my age, but the truth is also I refused to grow up and take on responsibility.....I jus wish to be a child forever...........a child, a child, a child..........